Overcoming the Coparenting Trap: Essential Skills

In addition to Family Camp and Professional Trainings, Overcoming Barriers has published several books that provide both practical tools and in-depth academic resource materials to aid families and professionals in understanding and handling the challenges of high conflict families. This is our first publication and it has been translated into Spanish.  All sales proceeds go to support the work of Overcoming Barriers.

Overcoming the CoParenting Trap: Essential Parenting Skills When a Child Resists a Parent by Dr. John Moran, Tyler Sullivan and Dr. Matthew Sullivan

A child’s resistance or refusal to spend time with a parent can develop suddenly or over time. It can be a result of a multitude of reasons, e.g. poor parenting by either or both parents, intense marital conflict, a particular child’s individual emotional vulnerabilities. Regardless of the source or timing of the problem, such situations pose serious risks to the children and anguish to the parents. This book provides both resisted and preferred parents insight into the source of the issue, skills for parenting a child in such circumstances and ideas for developing a coparenting relationship that allows the child to have a safe, secure relationship with both parents.

This useful book is a tool that many legal and mental health professionals provide to their clients to assist their clients in improving coparent interactions.

"Overcoming the Co-Parenting Trap is an important, excellent, and easy to use resource for parents (and professionals) when a child resists contact with mom or dad. Within a family systems framework, “Overcoming...” focuses on developing more effective strategies, skills, and goals for both preferred and resisted parents. Particularly helpful are concrete examples of problematic communications and behaviors followed by alternative suggestions likely to create a more positive effect in improving co-parenting and parent-child relationships disrupted by separation or divorce."  

-  Joan B. Kelly, Ph.D. – Northern California Mediation Center, author of Surviving the Breakup: How Children and Parents Cope with Divorce

"Overcoming the Co-Parenting Trap:  Essential Parenting Skills When a Child Resists a Parent is a resource that I have used in my divorce and family law practice on a number of occasions to provide clients (both “Resisted Parents” and “Preferred Parents") with an introduction to the concept of effective co-parenting under the strain of the extremely difficult circumstances that arise when a child resists contact with a parent.  For many, these are completely foreign subjects.  I have had some parents ask me exactly what I mean when I refer to "co-parenting."  Others question me on the exact meaning of "effective co-parenting.”  Still others can neither fathom the damage to a child who resists contact with a parent, nor grasp the concept of acquiring and honing specialized skills to deal with such a situation.  This book provides answers.  It identifies the problems and discusses various skills to solve them.  What I like most about the book is that there are sections dedicated to both Resisted Parents and Preferred Parents.  Some I’ve found only focus on only one section.  Others read on - interested in understanding the problem from the other side’s perspective.  An easy read - well organized - and a terrific ongoing reference guide - I highly recommend this book to others.  

-Jeffrey A. Soilson, Fitch Law Partners LLP, Boston (Family Law Attorney, Fellow and President-Elect of the MA-AAML)